In false love your aim is to use the other person to fulfill your happiness. Your love is conditional: You give it only as long as the person is affirming you and meeting your needs. And it’s nonvulnerable: You hold back so that you can cut your losses if necessary.

But in true love, your aim is to spend yourself and use yourself for the happiness of the other, because your greatest joy is that person’s joy. Your love is unconditional: You give it regardless of whether your loved one is meeting your needs. And it’s radically vulnerable: You spend everything, hold nothing back, give it all away.

…nobody is actually capable of giving true love. We want it desperately but can’t give it…

… All our love is somewhat fake. How so? Because we need to be loved like we need air and water. We can’t live without love. That means there’s a certain mercenary quality to our relationships…

… What we need is someone to love us who doesn’t need us at all. Someone who loves us radically, unconditionally, and vulnerably. Someone who loves us just for our sake. If we received that kind of love, that would so assure us of our value, it would fill us up, that maybe we could start to give love like that too…

… Who can give love with no need? Jesus.

From King’s Cross by Timothy Keller

(Source: davidbonifacio.com)